


Great Warriors Get Their Scars Young

by thatdragonchic



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Platonic Kissing, Sciles, Scott McCall Loves Stiles Stilinski, Scott is a Good Friend, suicide TW, they have the purest truest friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:08:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdragonchic/pseuds/thatdragonchic
Summary: After his attempted suicide in Motel California, Scott reflects on Stiles past with suicide, and how brave his best friend is, how much Stiles means to him.--Stiles Stilinski was his best friend, Stiles was the best thing to ever happen to him, Stiles was his heartbreak sweetheart, Sun of his life, the light that shined in paths of darkness, Stiles was his beacon of hope, Stiles was his everything, his brother.“I love you.”Stiles smiles and squeezes Scott’s hand. “Sleep, and wake up for me, won’t you?”





	Great Warriors Get Their Scars Young

**Author's Note:**

> back at it again with the Sciles feels   
> I promise I'll continue my beta!Stiles series eventually (the scott centric one?) but until now, have this. I'm rewatching 3a and having a lot of feels.   
> ALSO if you love this, feel free to check out my upcoming book No Heroes No Heroes, a poetry book written in stream of consciousness following a girl and her spiraling out of sanity. The book goes live on August 14, 2017 and it will be 15 dollars! Don't miss it, help your sister out, follow the tumblr page noheroesnoheroes.tumblr.com for previews and excerpts of the book!

Scott had deeply repressed the memory of what he found when he was 13. 3 different Pill bottles with  _ M Stilinski  _ on them, labeled with colors by Noah himself to ensure that Stiles took each one and knew their times. Little ticking stop watches by them too. He remembered Stiles refused to talk to him for 2 months, those 2 months never happened to Scott, because he lost something so detrimentally important, that the scar wound left marks deep. He could never lose Stiles like that again. He remembered apologizing everyday, telling him he didn’t know that it was a bad thing because it wasn’t. He remembered once it made Stiles cry, right there on the middle school playground and that was the first time he’d seen Stiles so upset and angry. 

He felt like the villain. Like the enemy. So when Stiles told him sophomore year  _ You’re having a panic attack, I used to have them when my mom died  _ Scott remembered. He remembered the pill bottles that kept Stiles grounded, that kept him from suffocating at points unknown to him. He remembered his mom telling him in fourth grade that Stiles had asthma, just like him, but how deep down he knew it was a lie. He never had attacks like that. Ever. 

And now they both smell like gasoline, he can hear Stiles soft heartbeat as he watches him sleep. Allison and Lydia were whispering softly in the background but it didn’t matter to him.  _ Stiles saved me.  _ But he saved Stiles too… yet Stiles was so selfless, he always felt selfish.  _ What would I do without you? You’re my brother Stiles… I can’t lose you.  _ Yet Stiles was always a few pills away from drowning his veins in lithium and Diazepam. A rushed high and slow way to die, he was always a few steps away from the methane sparking a fire in his lungs and taking all that Scott ever had away from him. 

He falls asleep thinking this and he wakes in dreams of Stiles standing against the light of the fire. He thinks that maybe Stiles was the fire, he can see the fire dancing on his skin but it never hurt him. As if he was something special ( _ he was _ ) and it was almost like he was the son of a god. The way that his skin never lit or burnt. The gasoline never touched him, the tears in his eyes were the purest thing that Scott had ever seen. He was drowning in the reality that never was, he was drowning in the arms of his brother. Scott saw the beauty behind the light, there was pain in all things glorious. He never considered himself glorious, or even a hero. But Stiles… Stiles was the king of glory. Stiles was the greatest outcome. He lit the fires of every candle and never burned. 

He was the holy saint of a dream far away.  _ Scott you're my brother… so if you’re going to do this… we’re going to do this together.  _ Except… Stiles would never die. He would live, he would live and he would live and he would live, for as long as the world would spin. That’s the way it was in Scott’s heart. That Stiles would live, for as long as things turned. They would live together in castles beyond the sky, just like the story books Stiles used to read when his father turned vile. They would live and they would live and they would live forever.

The morning comes though and devastation ended. Stiles ended up on the seat behind him over the course of the night, his sweater behind his head. Scott can’t help but think that he seems  _ beautiful  _ and he never understood how nobody has ever loved him. He was perfect, somehow. Perfect in the morning light, perfect when he had cuts on his ribs and he was screaming at the top of his lungs to let things end. He was perfect when he was crying, stepping into gasoline taking the fire from Scott’s hands. 

“What?” Stiles asks, raising his brow. 

“Nothing… I was just looking at your eyes,” Scott decides and Stiles brow furrows and he gives him a sort of weirded out smile before moving to sit by Scott when the rest of the team comes in. Ethan slides in, Scott barely hears what he’s saying,  _ I saved you! But that’s…. Besides the point.  _ He looks to Stiles interested but once Ethan is gone, Stiles slides in with distaste. Scott can’t seem to stop staring at his best friend, he was so brave sometimes. 

\--

_ “You’re so brave,” Scott had whispered, kissing the very small cut on Stiles wrist. Kisses make things better, and if he kissed the cut than maybe he could take Stiles pain. They were only 14 but the best of warriors got their scars young. He learned that from a book Stiles gave him on the celtics. _

_ “I’m not brave,” Stiles said. “I’m an idiot. I’m weak…” _

_ “You’re strong. It takes a lot of gut, to keep fighting you know?” _

_ “The only thing I’m fighting is my head.” _

_ “And that can be scary.” _

_ Maybe they understood too much for 14 year olds but Stiles was scared, Scott wasn’t going to let him be. _

_ “Everything feels scary sometimes, just going downstairs in the morning feels scary.” _

_ “That’s what the pills are for. To make it less scary.” _

_ “They don’t work sometimes.” _

_ “That’s what I’m for. I’m your best friend Stiles. I won’t let you be scared.” _

_ Stiles looks at him with a sort of squint. “Theres more than one, the others are worse.” _

_ “Let me clean them.” _

_ Stiles for once was very quiet, and Scott didn’t like when his friend had nothing to say, but he let him be and he picked himself off the Stilinski’s bathroom floor and got the first aid kit. “You’re so brave.” _

_ “I’m not brave at all.” _

_ “Great Warriors get their scars young.” _

\---

“Are you going to stare at me the whole ride home?” Stiles asks, the bus settling in the curves of the highway now, the whistle gone. 

“You’re so  _ brave _ ,” Scott tells him and Stiles laces their hands.

“Great Warriors get their scars young.”

They smile and and Scott laughs for the first time since they got on the bus. He doesn’t have to see Stiles face to know he’s proud.  “Don’t ever give up on me again, Scotty. I can’t do this without you and if you go down, I’m going down with you. No exceptions.”

“You deserve to live.”

“You don’t deserve to die.”

It was an intimate moment between friends, their dark shadows always seemed to sneak up on them, and yet the light had always shown. 

\---

_ “Why did you do it?” _

_ “Because it all hurt.” _

_ Scott didn’t expect his summer to start out this way, after the Kanima, after everything, he didn’t expect to end up in the hospital because of his best friend. “Nobody can know.” _

_ “Nobody will know,” Scott promises. He pauses. “Why didn’t you call?” _

_ “I just felt desperate.” _

_ “For what?” _

_ “I don’t really know anymore…” _

_ “Have you been taking your medication?” _

_ Stiles pauses and Scott watches him, disappointment and worry filling his features. At 16 Scott McCall almost lost his best friend. But not because of any supernatural creature, not because of anything he could stop, but because his best friend decided he didn’t want to live anymore.  _

_ “You deserve to live Stiles, and you deserve to be comfortable in your own skin… You deserve to be happy and if you need your medication to do that, then you need to take them. You’re no different than anybody else.” _

_ “But I’m not like you… I can’t do what you can do… I can’t save people, I can’t… I can’t even think straight without pills-” _

_ “Don’t say things like that, you’re better than that.” Scott sounds bitter. “You go down, I go down too.” _

_ “I’m not like you.” _

_ “That’s okay.” Scott hesitates but he steps forward and sits beside Stiles on the bed. “Things are going to be different this year, you’re not going to get hurt. No more Lydia, no more Jackson, no more… pining. We’re going to focus on just being better.” _

_ “Until something comes up.” _

_ “Something always comes up.” _

_ “Scotty? That’s okay…” _

_ Scott Smiles and kisses Stiles head. “Sleep but wake up for me, will you?” _

_ \--- _

Scott knows that every other werewolf on the bus was listening, they were intrigued by Scott’s conversation, he knew they heard every word and the pounding of his heart but it didn’t matter. Stiles Stilinski was his best friend, Stiles was the best thing to ever happen to him, Stiles was his heartbreak sweetheart, Sun of his life, the light that shined in paths of darkness, Stiles was his beacon of hope, Stiles was his everything, his  _ brother.  _

“I love you.”

Stiles smiles and squeezes Scott’s hand. “Sleep, and wake up for me, won’t you?”


End file.
